2017 is coming to a close, and each year I like to look back and reflect on the year. I look at ways I’ve grown, what challenges I’ve overcome, and decide where I want to go in the coming year.
The biggest life changing event from this year was becoming a mom. I always knew I wanted to be a mom ever since I was a little girl playing with my dolls, but I never expected the impact it would have on my life. Now, I’m not completely naive, and I knew it would be life-altering as far as our routine goes, but there wasn’t anything to prepare me for the emotional changes of becoming a mom.
#1: I’ve realized how selfish I was. I really thought I was pretty good about putting others before myself, but becoming a mom made me realize I was completely self involved. Before becoming a mom, I could spend my Saturdays napping on the couch, I could stand in the shower for 20 minutes, and I could check off my “to-do” list in no time at all. Now, I haven’t had a single nap since Addison was born, my showers are no longer than 4 minutes and only happen about every other day, and I haven’t even thought about writing out a to-do list because I know it won’t get done.
#2: I’ve learned the importance of not sweating the small stuff. I used to have a system for our laundry, dishes, and other house hold chores. Everything flowed so nicely, and I wasn’t ever overwhelmed with a day of cleaning because I spread it out over the week. Now, our laundry has tripled (we have a professional puker), and I would have to wash dishes 3 times a day just to stay ahead on bottles and my breast pump parts. I’ve accepted that the laundry might be clean but never folded and put away, and that my sink will forever have at least 5 dirty dishes in it at all times.
#3: I gave up on make up. I wasn’t ever a huge make up person in the first place, but I always made sure I took care of the basics (foundation, blush, and eye liner) before leaving the house. Now I frequently run to the grocery store or pediatricians office looking like a strung out junkie, with a pale face and bags under my eyes. And it’s okay.
#4: I’ve learned to be okay with being late. I’ve always made fun of people for being late “just because they have a baby”. I remember when Addi was a week old, I told my husband at 11:15 that I wold bring pizza out to the field for lunch, and I didn’t get there until 1:00. I’m starting to get in the habit of trying to leave 15 minutes early, just so we can arrive close to on time, but that doesn’t happen all the time.
#5: I’ve realized how important your mom is. I’ve made fun of my sisters for being so dependent on our mom, but I now see how fortunate we are to have a mom who is only a phone call (or a 10 minute drive) away. She’s gone to appointments with me, cleaned my house for me, and calmed Addison down when I couldn’t get her to stop crying. She has been an absolute life saver these past few months.
#6: I’ve learned that sometimes babies cry for no reason at all. It is the most helpless feeling, but sometimes you just have to hold them and let them cry.
#7: I’ve learned that time moves faster than lightning. It seems like just yesterday I was staring down at a positive pregnancy test, and now we have a 2 month old baby who is growing so much each and every day! She is so alert, and there are days I look at her and she looks so grown up already.
#8: I’ve learned to embrace one piece swimming suits. 1 year ago I sat on a beach in Mexico 100% confident in my 2 piece, and in a couple of weeks I plan on rocking my one piece at our family Christmas getaway. It’s all about your perspective.
#9: I’ve learned to be patient. Patient with my husband as he puts the diaper on too loosely, patient with our puppy who acted out when he didn’t get enough attention, and patient with a fussy little girl who just wanted to be held at 3:00 in the morning.
#10: I’ve learned that Mary was the most faithful servant in the bible. During the Christmas season, our pastor preached a series on the characters of the Christmas Story. I’ve never truly thought about the faithfulness that Mary portrayed until I became a mother myself. She was persecuted for having a baby out of wedlock, she delivered the baby in unfortunate circumstances, and she fully gave and dedicated that baby to the work of the Lord. I pray that Addison will have a heart for the Lord and be a faithful servant, but as a mother I want to protect her from the harsh things that Christians encounter in this world. Mary sacrificed her child so that my child will have eternal life, and that is the most powerful thing I have learned as mother.
